Im at strip club and am horny
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
