oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
