I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
