if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
