Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
