remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
