i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
