why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
