I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
