he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
