I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
