I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Come on in and take your pants off
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