They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
as a side note pls kill me
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize