This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
