hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Randomize
