so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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