yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
