i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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