Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm both gender and math confused
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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