how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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