i jhust puked up my retainher.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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