Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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