her vagine was all disorganized.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just high enough for therapy.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
