i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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