I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
