Don't make out with my wife yet
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
