I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
