We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
