And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
