I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
