The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
