you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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