Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
