she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
