I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Sext me about skeletons
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
