Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
