yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
