We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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