they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
