Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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