I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
