whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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