well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
How does one acquire holy water?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
