I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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