Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
