she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
