but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
