ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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