The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
