he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
we're so committed to being not committed
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
