that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
