NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
