Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Randomize