i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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