I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
