Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
