My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
