You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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