ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Randomize
