BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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