i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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