bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
