I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize