so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Im just a social blackout drinker.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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