you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
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