dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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