doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
