Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
