I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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