Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
