I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
