So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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