So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
It's just like the Real World with babies
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
