The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
